Hurley's World

For her 30th birthday, my friend Jen decided to throw a man-pageant. Good looking men were invited to compete and serve the food to the guests. Had we switched the genders, no one would have batted an eye. Instead, this happened.

Specifically, the men who send notice of their non-attendance because they feel threatened by the contestants, because they feel that their bodies would “scare people” if exposed, or because, simply, “that sounds castrating.”

Not that anyone’s feelings aren’t legitimate — it’s just that, whatever the female analog to that is, women simply aren’t supposed to mind. We are constantly surrounded by images of women way hotter than us, and we are supposed to just be cool with that. Think about what you would think about a woman who said she were staying home from an event because it involved hot women — would you find her insecure, neurotic, unadapted to reality? Maybe you are an awesome feminist and would find her to be an awesome feminist. It’s possible. But what would you actually think?

[What I Learned About Men This Month - JenIsFamous]

Having worked as a web developer for a number of years now, I know exactly how she feels. Women who work in the spheres of technology and the Internet are supposed to be okay with booth babes and pictures of large-chested women wearing a company t-shirt two sizes too small. I don't think the answer is to make everything boring but, rather, for women to start speaking up. Women control most of the household spending. We are key decision makers in buying most major purchases. We don't want to hear that the reason one is using a beautiful woman on a website is because using a man will scare away men and women won't care when the truth is that it's really just that some of the people at the company want to stare at a beautiful woman every time they go to the company website. The beautiful women aren't the problem, it's the lack of honesty and the lack of reciprocity. Occasionally, we should get something we want to look at, not just something we are okay with. Who knows, maybe it's puppies or cats, or a man in a nice t-shirt and jeans. But let's at least be honest with ourselves.

And I'm definitely not saying that not all men get it or that there aren't women out there who like to look at pretty ladies. Some of the stories Leo Laporte tells on his podcasts make me glad that there are men like him in the business. But I do wish people would get a little more comfortable with themselves.