I think we need to invent another word for that wonderful feeling in our own chest when someone we care for does something they feel proud about and we agree that they should feel proud. From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. I have never regarded the word pride as implying that the one feeling it is somehow responsible for it. Thanks for all the interresting comments and opinions on how people use the phrase Im proud of you. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. 4. My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. They can be in dictionaries but over time can have slightly different meanings depending how they are used. That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. 0. 3. Thanks. Image used under license from Shutterstock, research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you", protective role in a their child's mental health, Should Children And Parents Be Friends? 20 of the Best Encouraging Words that Hold any Caregivers Up 06 "Tim, I keep wondering what Dad would say if he were alive right now. In this blog, well take a look at Im proud of you and how to respond to it in a meaningful way. "Be proud of your scars. Our children need to know that we believe in them, that we trust them, that we support them, that we love them, that we acknowledge them as individuals separate from us. So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? They seem to make him quite happy. 6. I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . Oh.. very good. 16. I have a little brother who is rather insecure and jealous of me, a very controlling person that thinks having a relationship with each other means that I put up with him trying to make me feel less than in the power scheme, which is precisely why I totally avoid him My YOUNGER brother about my creative talents has to say..I am extremely proud of you..for a bit, this has thrown me off, and I was not able to quite articulate how this really got under my skin, why I did a search on the phrase and have been thinking about itand yeah, it does seem a major insult when an emotionally uncool person whose relationship with you should be on equal terms has to act like a parent, always making a show of being the bigger man saying boy, I am so proud of you. This is a very interesting discussion for me. Can "me too" be used here? Refresher workshop for P.E.T. Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. There may be times when he gets some details wrong, but no one is taking score about who gets the fine points right most of the time. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry. It means she feels proud for what you've done or achieved. Let me tell you why. 10. . I say it often to former students. 14. 14. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. Larissa's writing has been published in Huffington Post Australia, Early Childhood Australia's blog 'The Spoke'; Her Canberra, Gordon Training International blog, and Generation Next blog. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. Thanks. Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. For doing what Im supposed to do? All Rights Reserved. Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. Your thoughts and ideas are so creative, which has allowed you to refine your talent into something unique from others. 5. Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person. But it had a very positive impact on this one child. Pause before responding. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. In this research, children of parents who never said "I'm proud of you" were significantly more likely to contemplate, plan or attempt suicide. Thanks! Someone else's pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. Feb 10, . Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means they're happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. Thank You. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. I use the other terms like Im so happy for you. The insiders felt they were all superior to newcomers, no matter what the newcomers backgrounds were. Before you bring your GF home, know- How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, now. Just the way you look and react to your husband can give the impression that you are honored to be his wife. The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? I wouldnt get anxious about it. When my parents tell me that they are proud of me, I generally take it to mean that they recognize something I have done on my own merit as being worthy of praise. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? Its very presumptuous. 7. Immune Response. implying a mentor relationship. Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . Someone elses pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. I have always struggled with this word. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. By Ben Collins and Brandy Zadrozny. Look him in the eyes and smile. Here subject and object are the same person. You're not necessarily the expert. It is a feeling of relief and it was all worth while you bringing them up properly. "How long have you been sober?". The Next Giant Leap. Especially when your best friend is saying You make me proud, they arent just complimenting you. 9 Focus on Them When Praising Them PeopleImages / Getty Images Thank you so much! Focus on this thing or person for a few minutes to get yourself into a more positive mindset. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. I dont think there is a neutral position. Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. 3. I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. PJ, I will give my thoughts on your post at the end of my post. When someone says Im proud of you, they are expressing their admiration, respect, and gratitude for something you have done. Setting goals you can achieve, also called "realist goals," reduces the chance of frustration or doubting yourself or your abilities. This is what makes the difference in whether the receiver feels great or resentful. 2014, 2016, 2019. This is when his feelings go deeper than the surface, and he genuinely cares about you as a person. Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. Did I do anything extraordinary? Thanks, buddy! Whatever I did, I just did it for our friendship, Bro. Thanks. 12. This is a noble endeavor. About 5 years ago, an ex college girlfriend and I began emailing each other occasionally (not often just once every 2-3 months or so). Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? 1. But this seems less common. Why is this such a contentious phrase? This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. Looking for some extra money from your parents? And now, that you have the other responses to I am proud of you, you can share the same based on whos saying this and after which event. A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. 7. So thank you Ben, for after read the above I feel happy with my Im thrilled for you, You must feel really proud and the like. Now whether its romantic or a deep friendship is a different question. May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. I have a one year old boy and a two month old boy, and I had my first day back at work yesterday. I would almost join FB in order to make the comment, Why are you proud and impressed? A parent might say this to a child, perhaps. 1. The rest were manual labourers. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. But worse, my friend thanked them. I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. "Nothing is ever wrong. For what? I guess its an odd word and I stay away from it because I know how sensitive I am to it. 4 . You shouldnt be. that he harrassed them or . I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. You are using an out of date browser. This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. By the fifth repeat of the painting, the response from him mother may quite different from the first. The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. A Summer Like No Other - Bushfires, Fear, Famly, Hope and Change, Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello, When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child, Setting Limits Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves, Learning to Take The Back Seat As A Parent, As My Child Moves To Adulthood, Am I Treasuring The Moments? Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see, 43 Motivational Messages For Hard Working Boyfriend, funny excuses to ask for money from your parents, How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, 9 Best Answers To How Was Your Interview?, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 18 Best Responses To Backhanded Compliments On Social Media. Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. . I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. Initially this sit didnt sit well with me. Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014. (thanks to TK and Andy for helping think this through.). The reader alone is responsible for any action they take as a result of reading this website. Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. (My answer might surprise you. Go To Homepage. The words hit me like a . Instead of acting out of rage over . Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. You worked so hard, you really deserve that job! Don't disguise it as concern, either. I am still so mad, but I havent said anything about it. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. That proud phrase didnt bother me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder, what does she mean when she says shes proud of me? Probably no big deal but would be interested in input from others especially other females. Better Responses 2023. Thanks to you, as well for being such a caring and supportive partner. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. Yeah, this means a lot to me. Lets look at some examples (followed by some suggested alternatives) adult first, then child, to help illustrate this point: Manager: "Im proud of the report youve written". "I know how you feel". She and I are both married. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. It's nothing bad or unusual. Prior to going back, I asked if shed be going to the homecoming tailgate and football game. Its probably contempt and anger. The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. . When somebody says that you are wrong: "You are entitled to your incorrect opinion." To each his own. Yeah, If grandpa was here, he would have said the same. Interesting perspective. And Ill encourage them to be proud. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. I think you deserve the credit for this all. Which brings me to my next point. Proud Boys chairman Enrique Tarrio poses with a Proud Boys member at a rally in Delta Park in Portland, Oregon, on September 26, 2020. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me. Anyone could tell how proud he is to be with you by the giant grin that's plastered on his face when you two are together. "I know you have a lot going on . Sajeev Rajan . Get your facts straight. Lost Index. 14. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. Praise does not help bring up children who have an internal belief in themselves, of self-worth. And as it was your friends achievement, oughtnt she be the one who feels proud? In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. 9. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. 8. Otherwise I feel like Im horning in on someone elses territory their right to be proud of their own accomplishments. I had an experience where a friend, who I consider in every way my equal, noticed that I made a healthy food choice (not that I didnt before, but I think its the first time he noticed) and he said, Oh Im so proud of you!. I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh.